Cut the B.S.!

 

"Excuses are the tools of the weak and incompetent.

Used to build monuments of nothingness

Those who excel in it seldom excel in anything else but excuses"

--Unknown

 



 

The things I have gone through would turn the strongest person into the weakest. Many of them almost broke me down, but I figured if other people can overcome their adversities, so can I. Irregardless of what I've experienced, I was taught the following: in order to truly grow, one have to learn how to let go. This is not a sign of weakness, but one of strength. It is incredibly easy to live in or with excuses, but the truth still remains what it is.

 

 

You have to realize the following:

 



 

This has lead me to want to share the following message since it pertains to excuses.

 

From my parents to ex-boyfriends, I have had many people hurt me. The only way and reason I was hurt is because I allowed those people to. A naive person is easy to control and to play, and many people know this. We are all naive in different areas in our lives; experience allows one to become more wise.

 

Recently everyone who have ever done something to upset, hurt or distress me have reached out to me in one way or another. Like any reasonable person, I decided to listen and allow each person to express him or herself. I wasn't seeking closure; that comes from within and is a choice, and never expected to be satisfied. If anything, I was prepared to be more confused that I was before communicating with any of them. The purpose was to allow these persons to express themselves was to only solidify and confirm my already made and calcified preconceived notions I have of them.

 

What I learned was expected but still suprised me. No matter the wrong that was done to me, that person had a genuine justifcation for their wrongs. That person was not going change and is not going to change. I expect no better from any of these people. What I do expect of myself is the wisdom and understanding that these people are innately themselves, and to protect myself and expect no better of or from them. With this mature perspective, their existences or lack of such does not affect me as they did before. I wish the same for you. It takes time, and every day is not perfect. With such a perspective however, I am incredibly happy and with peace.

 

It all begins with realizing...

 

 

"It is hard to teach old dogs new tricks. It's even more difficult to teach a comfortable ignorant minded person anything. When people are comfortable in their ways, they will not change them. In their world, there is no need to do such."

--PrettyChiq

 

 

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***RELATIONSHIPS***

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Persons #1 (The F*#ked-Up Exes): This is that ex that have excuse in the book, but have no justification of his or her shortcoming. The person is the true epiphany of what a human parasite can be. Such a person is too hurt, too incompetent and too broken to ever truly love him or herself. In return that person will never be able to truly and genuinely love anyone. As such, that person will always and will continue to justify their selfish and devious actions and decisions with delusional excuses. My ex is no different, he'd constantly use my flaws and faults to justify his shortcomings. It donned upon me: "two wrongs never make a right. If one is unhappy with something change it." Such an ex will never man up to his deceitful ways. As such, one have to strong and comfortable with oneself to distance oneself from such a person.

 

Lesson learned: When people do not know themselves or what they want, they tend to gravitate towards persons who do. That person however will bring you do! Drop the fool. You have to realize, being a bum or having 'bumlike' tendencies are not the qualities anyone, man or woman, was raised to become. A fallen person will easily settle for being or acting like trash. Pity that person and learn from. In the few interactions it donned upon me, a fool will always be a fool till that person have to change. Some people are comfortable with who and what they are and do not see or want an incentive to change. Instead of trying to change that person, forgive him or her and change your perspective. Stop letting unworthy persons waste your time, you're priceless and valuable. Find someone will acknowledge and treat you as such.

Even in fairytale characters faced adversities and had problems. In the end however, they stood up for what they believed and lived happily ever after. Face your hardships now, their will be calm after your storm. Have faith!

--PrettyChiq

 

 

 

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***FAMILY***

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Persons #2 (The Disheartening Family Members): Because it's family, we tend to justify their messed up qualities and weaknesses with the following excuse: "It's blood." I say drop that foolish perspective. They are only human. Now it's hard to drop family members, but it's never that difficult to distance yourself from the people. Remember, these people can be our biggest cheerleaders and even bigger bullies. You have to remember they can only do the best they know how to do. Once they have taught you all they need to teach you, you may no longer have the same perspective they have. Respect is always given, but you may have to learn to tune these people out. You may need to move, block, delete (permanently or temporary) these same persons you love so dearly. 

 

Lesson learned: With all the family drama I have gone through, I have learned that people are set in their ways. From my mother to my siblings, people are hard to change. I have accepted all of them, bad ways and all. While they are accepted, I keep many of them at arms length. The same people that encouraged me to achieve some of my success are the same persons the condemns and rejects my other dreams and desires. Is is because they wish me harm or wrong? I doubt it, but fear of not knowing and failure make them want to shelter me. I decided at a young age that in order to achieve my goals, I may have to walk alone, my faith and trust in my God and my peace of mind. I advice you too to be cautious and realize that sometimes even family can hurt and harm you. Forgive them as you'd forgive anyone else, but be cautious and continue to live your life!

 

Live by the following principle:



 

 

 

 

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***WORK***

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Persons #3 (The Backstabbing Coworkers):  As love hurts, family drama pains, issues at work can discourage many persons. People are always intimidated by confidence. You have to realize that everyone have fears, for many coworkers, fear of being demoted or not being recognized are real problems. If you are confident, happy and sure to shine, they may very well try and have you terminated. I've faced this issue many times in my life. My advice is to not be upset. Competition is good, it forces and encourages one to work more tediously to achieve something. It should motivate one try oneself. Always have a backup plan. Realize no job is ever 100% secure. Once you realize every position is temporary till one is able to get something better, the actions of coworkers will only be amusing. If you are so upset or distraught by the environment at work, do something about it. If you feel as though you do not have many options, then go back to school, get a certificate or something to make sure you are always versatile

 

Lesson learned: People with many options never stress the simple and immature things. People and things at work should always stay at work. If you are projecting the conflicts at work into your personal life in a negative manner, you have outgrown that situation and need to make provisions to upgrade. Life is truly too short and too blissful to allow a few backstabbing or any persons negatively impact you, especially at a place where a paycheck should be first priority and the opinions of others second! Waste no time on nonsense, and remember there are lines that are to be placed between the professional and personal worlds in which you are a part of!

 



 

Advice of the Day:
Excuses are easy to make. They are justifications for a decision or lack of an action that one should not have taken. Realize this and do not be the persn who is making the excuses. If you are, there is always time to change. If excuses are being made to you, acknowledge them and realie them for what they are--excuses. Whether you want to change something is up to you, just acknowledge things for what they are.

 

Always remember,

 

 

"There is no excuse to feel incompetent or hurt because of one person's excuse. You are always worth than being an excuse or escape plan

Love, live, and enjoy life, you are always worth it!"

--PrettyChiq