Say No, Mean it, People Are Self-Centered

"Throughout your life, you'll meet many people. Many of these people are able to convince you to do and say things that you many times do not want to. I say to say no and to stick to it. Sometimes it's OK to be completely selfish."

--PrettyChiq

 

 

 People are naturally selfish, wanting and needing things they way they are. Some, more than others, are more selfish and self-absorbed that others. Throughout my short life, I've been confronted with the various different persons who have been completely and utterly self-absorbed, and the truth remains, not all these persons are unhappy being assholes or selfish. Most self-absorbed persons I know are completely and utterly fulfilled and happy. It's all in the perspective.





 

So let's just start off by listing the top 5 different types of persons I've come across...
 

Person #1 (The One Who Is Grandiose): I know  someone who refused to give anything, but love to get everything. As a matter of fact, that person felt as though he was entitled to everything he received from people in his life. Everyone owed him something.

• Response: This person needs to realize that life is not about material things and what people can do for him. He is not entitled to anything, and the things people do for him so go recognized. It is more encouraging to applaud people for the little they do, than to abuse them--they will stop eventually after they realize that person is a leech. If you have someone like him in your life, let that person go--they will only suck the joy, happiness and live out of you. That person usually is taking from you the thing or things he cannot get himself.

 

 

Person #2 (The One With the Excuse): Always had an excuse. This was that person that would wait last minute to ask for a favor. No one should ever say not, and dare not have plans. For that person, everyone should help him when he needed help. When they did not, he had the audacity to be upset.

• Response: People like this expect you to sit around, waiting to save them. Everything that he needs he expects to get, but not only will not be there for you. This person have no desire to care about your feelings at that moment, as long you stop and do what he says in the moment you will always be on his good said. Unlike the first, he will help at times--he will just need more for you need him.



 

 



Person #3 (The One Who Lacks Remorse): Would break some one's possession and would be upset with that person. An example would be, if the person broke your glasses because he sat on it, he would justify it by saying, "You should of never had it there." That person would have the ability to make you feel bad about him destroying your possession.

• Response: This is that person no matter what will always be right. No matter what happens, that person will find a way for you to feel as though you are wrong. This person is gifted with the ability to not give a damn--lacks remorse and many times does not see it. 

Person #4 (The Kind One that Needs Praise): This is the person who is overly nice. Such a person is so nice, that she needs constant displays of affection and appreciation. This person is one that would go to the moon and beyond, but gets upset when someone does not acknowledge her hard work. As nice as this woman is, don't recognize her philanthropist natures and she'll bash you constantly about being "ungrateful".

• Response: This is the most under the radar selfish type ever! This person does everything for everyone, and is the mentor, is the savior, but uses people the most to build her ego or self-esteem. This is the girl that would watch your children for you, go to Mars for you, but the moment you tell her you cannot do something she needs or give her something she wants--she bashes your name or un-friends you. This person does not care about you, but cares about her image in society.



 

Person #5 (The One in the Bubble): This person unfortunately does not care very much about other people, their opinions or their actions. The only people or things that matter to such a person are those he or she places as being important or relevant. Everything and everyone else is unimportant. This person will say, do and act in a way that can be rude, abrasive and at times heartless--but as long it's not in the bubble--it does not matter!

• Response: This is that clueless person who like Person#1 feels all important, but does not care what people think.



 

Why is this important?

One thing these people have in common is their lack of remorse for the feelings of others. It is only beneficial to a certain extent, but at times can be extremely harmful. For all these personality type, this lack of remorse would be clearly visible in one or more areas of their life ranging from personal to professional areas. There is always the possibility for all these persons to be more personable and conscious of the feelings of others.

 

Purpose of this Blog:

Stop feeling as though people owe you something, they don't! Everything, no matter the personality type, you do should be done without the expectation that someone will do the same for you. Oftentimes the people you help are usually the people that will chastise, while complete strangers will go above and beyond to help. I believe in the concept of Karma, what goes around comes around, but does not believe it comes in the same form, time or from the same people.

 

A friend may call you at 5:45 pm to ask a favor of you and expect you to do it that day when you already have plans of your own. People like that will make a habit out of using you. Sometimes it's best to say no! When you say no and not let that person sway you despite what he or she have done for you in the past, things flow nicely. Why?

• It is completely unacceptable, except it be a life or death situation, that people can and would call you last minute to change you plans.
• Do not feel bad because oftentimes, these people WILL NOT change their plans for you. They will apologize most kindly, but they will not go out there way.
• Stop feeling bad for everyone. Unfortunately people feel indebted to people. It is nice to be kind, but sometimes being a little like the 5 persons listed is necessary in order not to be used and abused.

It is important to keep focus on your goals in life and to accomplish your 'calling'. In the process you will come across many people that will seek to exploit you for whatever reason. Pity them if you must, but do not let them control you or have you change you goals or plans. You are worth investing in yourself, and aside from God should be your number one priority. Never cease living your life as you should because through your accomplishments and successes, you can help others!

It comes down to this...

LEARN TO SAY NO, AND MEAN IT!

Believe it or not, there are some people that can say no, mean it and have no remorse about it after. If you cannot do it or it makes you uncomfortable, anyone that truly values you or loves you will understand and will not hold grudge. Truthfully speaking, you should not be expected to be obligated to do anything for anyone for any reason. People should respect your decisions, and if they don't do not feel a type of way. Those people have two reasons: get over it or hold onto a grudge as you continue to live your life. You will and should help as you can and should, but when you can't it's as simple as saying 'No'!

Advice of the Day

 

But also remember...